Today Jocie officially became a teen. She is such a beautiful young lady. She is so talented and beautiful. Happy Birthday Jocie
Alyssa Mason and Jocie
2/22/11
Jocie turns 13
Today Jocie officially became a teen. She is such a beautiful young lady. She is so talented and beautiful. Happy Birthday Jocie
1/15/11
We do it as a team
I am going to go back to a subject that I really believe in. I really truely and honestly believe that if we reherse the positive we will get just that. If we constanty reherse the negative that is what we will get as well. I have had a couple of really rough days and I want to share with you how I got on the possitive path I am on. I may not be seen as "mainstream" here in Utah but I still have a spirit as we all do that grows and learns along it's journey we call life. In the last few days I have seen tragedy turn into peace. People are there that truely care and only want the best for us to be happy , healthy and succed. There are those that need a large friendship circle filled with many people all very similar that seem to be all on the same ground. I choose to keep my circle open to new thoughts, ideas, loves, and gifts that we can all grow from and help eachother. It is hard to find very genuine people but when you do .... KEEP THEM! Serve them because it all comes back around.
So as most of you know that I love my CVR machine. It keeps me focused and on the path of personal empowerment and success. I remind you all of a fall that I took many months ago when my blood pressure dropped and I passed out and hit my head. I did need stitches, but felt there were other options. That info is in a previous post.
Well several days ago I started to get very lethargic, my appitite was decressing and a headache started behind my eyes. Within the next day I was in a full blown EDS attack. I was like a limp noodle. I had a very supportive team that was there for anything that me or my kids would needs. I slept and cried. The pain in my joints and muscles was so bad. I just tried to sleep through it and not move.
It finally became more than I could bear and I was taken to the ER. EDS is not usually a common thing seen by ER doctors so they spend some time looking it up. The Doctor asked me what he should do?..."Doctor that is what I am asking you for help with" Immediatly the narcodics were offered. I said " Doctor I am here in so much pain. I have been absolutly 100% clean of narcodics for pain for a YEAR. I have come to far to take a step backwards!" He was puzzled. I think most people come into the ER to get pain meds and I insisted there had to be a different way. I was not going to even entertain the thought of narcotics. After much research and thinking two VERY VERY big shots were given to me to help the inflamation in the joins and to help me sleep through the rest of the attack.
So if anyone out there doesn't think they can stay strong even in their weakest moments, I will happily introduce myself to them! I am proud of myself. The rehersal process that the CVR sessions have taught me are priceless.
Once again I proved to myself that anything is possible if you put your mind to it!!!!
I mentioned on my other blog that it feels embarassing that I have to wear stabilizing braces on many joints. My Daughter saw them and asked me why I wasn't wearing them. I told her I get embarressed somtimes when people look or ask me what is wrong. She then said "MOM WEAR THEM!!! THEY HELP YOU> PEOPLE AREN"T LOOKING AT THE BRACES, THEY ARE LOOKING AT YOU!
10/28/10
Change can be a good thing
They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
- Andy Warhol
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
- Carol Burnett
In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
- Author unknown
Resolve to be a master of change rather than a victim of change.
- Brian Tracy
If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
- Mary Engelbreit
Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed
- Storm Jameson
- Andy Warhol
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
- Carol Burnett
In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
- Author unknown
Resolve to be a master of change rather than a victim of change.
- Brian Tracy
If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
- Mary Engelbreit
Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed
- Storm Jameson
10/27/10
They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
- Andy Warhol
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
- Carol Burnett
In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
- Author unknown
Resolve to be a master of change rather than a victim of change.
- Brian Tracy
If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
- Mary Engelbreit
Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed
- Storm Jameson
- Andy Warhol
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
- Carol Burnett
In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
- Author unknown
Resolve to be a master of change rather than a victim of change.
- Brian Tracy
If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
- Mary Engelbreit
Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed
- Storm Jameson
10/22/10
May this be a tribute to lifes lessons
I was sent a text not long ago... In fact many texts, "That one day you will thank me for all of this" Since we do have the Constitution and freedom of speech therein, I feel the right to express myself.
So Thank you! May this be a tribute to the many text messages and emails
When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm
After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Oh, ohh
Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh
After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
So Thank you! May this be a tribute to the many text messages and emails
When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm
After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Oh, ohh
Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh
After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
10/14/10
Where do I go from here?
A lot is going on and a lot has changed. I find it incredibly sad how quickly people can act like they hate you. My mind swims at all that happens and I am really affected on how mean and nasty people can be.
I have always found that expressing myself in words has been very helpful. I will just say what is on my mind and really I am at the point in this misery that I just don't care if people are offended. I am really having such a mix of emotions and frankly I am really hurt.
The only way I know how to explain my first feeling is sadness. I sit in front of my computer holding back the tears for fear that my children or others will see my emotions. I am supposed to be made of stone and I feel like the tempered piece of glass that could shatter if touched. How am I supposed to feel when a family that claimed to love me has turned on me and now all believes total LIES!!! I thought that I had great relationships with these people come to find out that they would rather destroy me than love me. I actually worry about them and am genuinely concerned. They would never know because NO ONE has asked. All of the sudden I am the enemy. What ever happened to treating others the way you would want to be treated. No one has called. No one has text. They would never know because they are all so consumed with keeping their stories straight and making sure they are all on the same page that they would never know how I really was. Aren't we supposed to treat other like we would want to be treated. So Do they want me to call the police every time they turn around? Or never apologize for unkind treatment or disrespect? Or for casting judgment on a situation that they only hear one side of. THERE ARE ALWAYS TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY. There is always a lier and there is always someone telling the truth.
Aren't we supposed to act like Christan's as we claim we are? What ever happened to the phrase " What would Jesus do?" Do you have to follow a set of rules that others have designed for us even if it doesn't work for us? There are wonderful people in this world that don't all belong to the same church. It is possible and wonderful to have diversity and different opinions in our lives. I have always chosen to love the person for themselves and not try and mold them into the cookie cutter mold that makes all of the exactly the same sugar cookies comfortable. Who said that we all need to dress a certain way. Eat and drink the same . Do the "approved" activities, etc. That makes people so boring. I choose to be creative and design my own path of happiness. Not what someone say because it is their opinion and it works for them. It just might not work for me. Does that make it wrong? I darn well know that I am a good person and I have a lot to offer. It saddens me that the sugar cookies are trying to make me feel bad about wanting to be the chocolate chunk with the frosting and sprinkles. Heaven forbid I be unique.
My feelings are hurt that people are shallow and scared of what others will think of them. That even if they have an opinion they keep their mouths shut and never really let people see who they are or what they think. I have had a very close group of friends for many many years. Now they all support such disgusting behavior in fear that they would get in trouble or that their voice might be heard. How do they think it makes me feel knowing that they either don't give a crap about me now, are acting like they don't because they are scared, or are so incredibly selfish that they never really did???? WELL I HAVE FEELINGS TOO. APPARENTLY YOU DON'T CARE
I feel like the wolf being devoured by it's own pack. Because I left the pack I need to learn a lesson. So they have all banded together and are eating me alive and seem to be enjoying the taste of my blood as they all smile in their twisted victory. Well this wolf has nine lives and she WILL NOT LAY DOWN AND DIE!!!!! So go vegetarian and eat tofu.
I have always found that expressing myself in words has been very helpful. I will just say what is on my mind and really I am at the point in this misery that I just don't care if people are offended. I am really having such a mix of emotions and frankly I am really hurt.
The only way I know how to explain my first feeling is sadness. I sit in front of my computer holding back the tears for fear that my children or others will see my emotions. I am supposed to be made of stone and I feel like the tempered piece of glass that could shatter if touched. How am I supposed to feel when a family that claimed to love me has turned on me and now all believes total LIES!!! I thought that I had great relationships with these people come to find out that they would rather destroy me than love me. I actually worry about them and am genuinely concerned. They would never know because NO ONE has asked. All of the sudden I am the enemy. What ever happened to treating others the way you would want to be treated. No one has called. No one has text. They would never know because they are all so consumed with keeping their stories straight and making sure they are all on the same page that they would never know how I really was. Aren't we supposed to treat other like we would want to be treated. So Do they want me to call the police every time they turn around? Or never apologize for unkind treatment or disrespect? Or for casting judgment on a situation that they only hear one side of. THERE ARE ALWAYS TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY. There is always a lier and there is always someone telling the truth.
Aren't we supposed to act like Christan's as we claim we are? What ever happened to the phrase " What would Jesus do?" Do you have to follow a set of rules that others have designed for us even if it doesn't work for us? There are wonderful people in this world that don't all belong to the same church. It is possible and wonderful to have diversity and different opinions in our lives. I have always chosen to love the person for themselves and not try and mold them into the cookie cutter mold that makes all of the exactly the same sugar cookies comfortable. Who said that we all need to dress a certain way. Eat and drink the same . Do the "approved" activities, etc. That makes people so boring. I choose to be creative and design my own path of happiness. Not what someone say because it is their opinion and it works for them. It just might not work for me. Does that make it wrong? I darn well know that I am a good person and I have a lot to offer. It saddens me that the sugar cookies are trying to make me feel bad about wanting to be the chocolate chunk with the frosting and sprinkles. Heaven forbid I be unique.
My feelings are hurt that people are shallow and scared of what others will think of them. That even if they have an opinion they keep their mouths shut and never really let people see who they are or what they think. I have had a very close group of friends for many many years. Now they all support such disgusting behavior in fear that they would get in trouble or that their voice might be heard. How do they think it makes me feel knowing that they either don't give a crap about me now, are acting like they don't because they are scared, or are so incredibly selfish that they never really did???? WELL I HAVE FEELINGS TOO. APPARENTLY YOU DON'T CARE
I feel like the wolf being devoured by it's own pack. Because I left the pack I need to learn a lesson. So they have all banded together and are eating me alive and seem to be enjoying the taste of my blood as they all smile in their twisted victory. Well this wolf has nine lives and she WILL NOT LAY DOWN AND DIE!!!!! So go vegetarian and eat tofu.
8/13/10
Currently
I have really gone back and forth alot whether or not to post on this blog. This was a family blog scrapbook for me. I used it to journal about life, family, and motherhood.Now all of that is being questioned.
I don't realy understand how a family that claims they loved me as one of their own would turn on me. All of the sudden I am looked at as the bad guy.
I have feelings too. I am a good mother. I have devoted my life to my children. Children that have blessed my life and inspire me.
What does a mother really do......
Well let's start at the begining.
WE GAVE BIRTH
we devote the first year of their lives night and day to nursing, nurturing, loving, feeding, changing, making scrapbooks, writing down all of the firsts.We spend our lives worrying and wanting to protect our children. We look out for them with every situation and problem they might have. We loose sleep. We watch them sleep. We comfort. We teach. We want nothing ut the best for our children and we will do what it takes to help guide and direct them in a positive way.
Even when I was sick I always made sure that the children were cared for and had what they needed. Never once did they go without what they needed. Now I feel like I am being put on display for all to see and judge.
What is expected from us mothers. So many things we do go completly unoticed.
I have been reading a book about motherhood and I found a page that I found very interesing. It talks about the expectations of mothers.
- be a good mom
- Prove to husband that I am a good mom
- Go back to work ASAP
- Go back to work after spending a year or two with the kids
- Stay hom and not go back to work
- Raise kids to be as perfect as possible
- Have smart kids
- make sure kids have good manners, obediant, well structed, and prepared for the real world
- Have fresh flowers in the house
- Be the kind of mother my mom was
- Feel lucky for all my options
- Have regular love life with husband
- Be the person I was before kids
- Make gifts for fathers day
- Deal with most, if not all baby duties
- Plan activities, classes, and play dates
- achieve balance
- have well adjusted, socializd kids
- look healthy and fit
- look sexy
- Be happy or look happy
- feel fulfilled
- be admired
- have it all
- spend quality time with kids
- spearhead household chores
- make all doctor and dentist appoinments
- garden
- maintain car
- oversee homework, go to confrences, and keep up on school activities
- buy birthday presents
- organize birthday parties
- write thank you notes
- decorate for holidays
- buy kids clothing and shoes
- pay bills
- throw dinner and holiday parties
- fix household things
- bathe kids
- brush kids teeth
- put kids to bed
- Arrange and manage child care
- pick up kids from school
- manage relationships and gatherings
- take care of pets
- make sure grandparents regularly see kids
- help friends with relaionship problems
- keep the house in order for drop in friends and guests
- help friends out with their kids
Well that is just a few of the things we as mothers feel expected to do.
Then when I have done all of these things and do more than this list all of the sudden I am being evaluated as a parent?
This is completly unfair and absolutly uncalled for. I have been nothing but a good mother. I learn from my own mother and other mothers constanly. I learn from my own father and other fathers. I learn from my own children and other children.
I 100% support my children. I have supported them in all aspects of their lives. I have enjoyed dance recitals, music lessons, soccar games, gymnastics meets and practices. I have peaked through windows at rehersals to catch a glimpse of my children. Watching them grow and progress and develop their talents. I have driven by their schools at lunch time to hopefully see them having fun on the playground at recess. I have honked and waved when they got excited to see my car.
Simple things that only other mothers understand.
I am very hurt and saddened by all of this. I love my children.
I don't realy understand how a family that claims they loved me as one of their own would turn on me. All of the sudden I am looked at as the bad guy.
I have feelings too. I am a good mother. I have devoted my life to my children. Children that have blessed my life and inspire me.
What does a mother really do......
Well let's start at the begining.
WE GAVE BIRTH
we devote the first year of their lives night and day to nursing, nurturing, loving, feeding, changing, making scrapbooks, writing down all of the firsts.We spend our lives worrying and wanting to protect our children. We look out for them with every situation and problem they might have. We loose sleep. We watch them sleep. We comfort. We teach. We want nothing ut the best for our children and we will do what it takes to help guide and direct them in a positive way.
Even when I was sick I always made sure that the children were cared for and had what they needed. Never once did they go without what they needed. Now I feel like I am being put on display for all to see and judge.
What is expected from us mothers. So many things we do go completly unoticed.
I have been reading a book about motherhood and I found a page that I found very interesing. It talks about the expectations of mothers.
- be a good mom
- Prove to husband that I am a good mom
- Go back to work ASAP
- Go back to work after spending a year or two with the kids
- Stay hom and not go back to work
- Raise kids to be as perfect as possible
- Have smart kids
- make sure kids have good manners, obediant, well structed, and prepared for the real world
- Have fresh flowers in the house
- Be the kind of mother my mom was
- Feel lucky for all my options
- Have regular love life with husband
- Be the person I was before kids
- Make gifts for fathers day
- Deal with most, if not all baby duties
- Plan activities, classes, and play dates
- achieve balance
- have well adjusted, socializd kids
- look healthy and fit
- look sexy
- Be happy or look happy
- feel fulfilled
- be admired
- have it all
- spend quality time with kids
- spearhead household chores
- make all doctor and dentist appoinments
- garden
- maintain car
- oversee homework, go to confrences, and keep up on school activities
- buy birthday presents
- organize birthday parties
- write thank you notes
- decorate for holidays
- buy kids clothing and shoes
- pay bills
- throw dinner and holiday parties
- fix household things
- bathe kids
- brush kids teeth
- put kids to bed
- Arrange and manage child care
- pick up kids from school
- manage relationships and gatherings
- take care of pets
- make sure grandparents regularly see kids
- help friends with relaionship problems
- keep the house in order for drop in friends and guests
- help friends out with their kids
Well that is just a few of the things we as mothers feel expected to do.
Then when I have done all of these things and do more than this list all of the sudden I am being evaluated as a parent?
This is completly unfair and absolutly uncalled for. I have been nothing but a good mother. I learn from my own mother and other mothers constanly. I learn from my own father and other fathers. I learn from my own children and other children.
I 100% support my children. I have supported them in all aspects of their lives. I have enjoyed dance recitals, music lessons, soccar games, gymnastics meets and practices. I have peaked through windows at rehersals to catch a glimpse of my children. Watching them grow and progress and develop their talents. I have driven by their schools at lunch time to hopefully see them having fun on the playground at recess. I have honked and waved when they got excited to see my car.
Simple things that only other mothers understand.
I am very hurt and saddened by all of this. I love my children.
5/1/10
Update
Since the phone and email are constantly going off and people are asking..."What is going on?" I will just say this. The Sipe's Journey is taking a different path. It is not happy and it needs to be fixed. So Please rest assured that everything will be fine in time. So no more worried phone calls and emails.
3/30/10
Poor Snakey
We have had "Snaky" for about two years. I personally took a while to warm up to the idea of having a boa constrictor in our house, but I did. Sterling always had really strange and cool animals around his home growing up. I remember seeing his brother feed one of his own snakes and it broke my heart. But nature is nature! Rats are their for a reason. We usually have feed her frozen rats, but gave her a live rat this time. She had changed environments and apparently snakes can get stressed. She started to act really strange and we called our snake friends. Kara is my emotional snake helper LOL!(thanks Kara). I always tried to help in keeping her cage clean and happy.
Well this rat was EVIL!!!! It attacked her. Poor Snaky :-(
I went in and found that the rat had eaten holes in the snake. She was still alive. Poor thing...
Mason's heart was broken, but Sterling was great at explaining nature to him and that sometimes these things happen. Snaky was just weak and the rat ate her.
How strange that I didn't even realize that I really cared about a snake. Don't get me wrong... she freaked me out a little sometimes, but she still was Mason's pet.
So the rat was evil and Snaky is in Snake heaven now.
Sorry Snaky.
Sorry for the pictures, but Snaky needed a proper snake memorial.
I actually cried about a snake, but Snaky made Mason happy and that made me happy.
Well this rat was EVIL!!!! It attacked her. Poor Snaky :-(
I went in and found that the rat had eaten holes in the snake. She was still alive. Poor thing...
Mason's heart was broken, but Sterling was great at explaining nature to him and that sometimes these things happen. Snaky was just weak and the rat ate her.
How strange that I didn't even realize that I really cared about a snake. Don't get me wrong... she freaked me out a little sometimes, but she still was Mason's pet.
So the rat was evil and Snaky is in Snake heaven now.
Sorry Snaky.
Sorry for the pictures, but Snaky needed a proper snake memorial.
I actually cried about a snake, but Snaky made Mason happy and that made me happy.
3/26/10
A Mother's Love
A mother's love! What can compare with it! Of all things on earth, it comes nearest to divine love in heaven.
A mother's love means a life's devotion-and sometimes sacrifice-with but one thought, one hope and one feeling, that her children will grow up healthy and strong, free from evil habits and able to provide for themselves. Her sole wish is that they may do their part like men and women, avoid dangers and pitfalls, and when in dark hours come, trust in Providence to give them strength,patience and courage to bear up bravely.
Happy is the mother that when her heart's wish is answered,and happy are her sons and daughters when they can feel that they have contributed to her noble purpose, and in some measure, repaid her unceasing, unwavering love and devotion.
A mother's love means a life's devotion-and sometimes sacrifice-with but one thought, one hope and one feeling, that her children will grow up healthy and strong, free from evil habits and able to provide for themselves. Her sole wish is that they may do their part like men and women, avoid dangers and pitfalls, and when in dark hours come, trust in Providence to give them strength,patience and courage to bear up bravely.
Happy is the mother that when her heart's wish is answered,and happy are her sons and daughters when they can feel that they have contributed to her noble purpose, and in some measure, repaid her unceasing, unwavering love and devotion.
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