Change can be a good thing

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
- Andy Warhol
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
- Carol Burnett
In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
- Author unknown
Resolve to be a master of change rather than a victim of change.
- Brian Tracy
If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
- Mary Engelbreit
Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed
- Storm Jameson

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
- Andy Warhol
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
- Carol Burnett
In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
- Author unknown
Resolve to be a master of change rather than a victim of change.
- Brian Tracy
If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
- Mary Engelbreit
Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed
- Storm Jameson

May this be a tribute to lifes lessons

I was sent a text not long ago... In fact many texts, "That one day you will thank me for all of this" Since we do have the Constitution and freedom of speech therein, I feel the right to express myself.

So Thank you! May this be a tribute to the many text messages and emails

When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Oh, ohh

Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh

After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Where do I go from here?

A lot is going on and a lot has changed. I find it incredibly sad how quickly people can act like they hate you. My mind swims at all that happens and I am really affected on how mean and nasty people can be.
I have always found that expressing myself in words has been very helpful. I will just say what is on my mind and really I am at the point in this misery that I just don't care if people are offended. I am really having such a mix of emotions and frankly I am really hurt.

The only way I know how to explain my first feeling is sadness. I sit in front of my computer holding back the tears for fear that my children or others will see my emotions. I am supposed to be made of stone and I feel like the tempered piece of glass that could shatter if touched. How am I supposed to feel when a family that claimed to love me has turned on me and now all believes total LIES!!! I thought that I had great relationships with these people come to find out that they would rather destroy me than love me. I actually worry about them and am genuinely concerned. They would never know because NO ONE has asked. All of the sudden I am the enemy. What ever happened to treating others the way you would want to be treated. No one has called. No one has text. They would never know because they are all so consumed with keeping their stories straight and making sure they are all on the same page that they would never know how I really was. Aren't we supposed to treat other like we would want to be treated. So Do they want me to call the police every time they turn around? Or never apologize for unkind treatment or disrespect? Or for casting judgment on a situation that they only hear one side of. THERE ARE ALWAYS TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY. There is always a lier and there is always someone telling the truth.

Aren't we supposed to act like Christan's as we claim we are? What ever happened to the phrase " What would Jesus do?" Do you have to follow a set of rules that others have designed for us even if it doesn't work for us? There are wonderful people in this world that don't all belong to the same church. It is possible and wonderful to have diversity and different opinions in our lives. I have always chosen to love the person for themselves and not try and mold them into the cookie cutter mold that makes all of the exactly the same sugar cookies comfortable. Who said that we all need to dress a certain way. Eat and drink the same . Do the "approved" activities, etc. That makes people so boring. I choose to be creative and design my own path of happiness. Not what someone say because it is their opinion and it works for them. It just might not work for me. Does that make it wrong? I darn well know that I am a good person and I have a lot to offer. It saddens me that the sugar cookies are trying to make me feel bad about wanting to be the chocolate chunk with the frosting and sprinkles. Heaven forbid I be unique.

My feelings are hurt that people are shallow and scared of what others will think of them. That even if they have an opinion they keep their mouths shut and never really let people see who they are or what they think. I have had a very close group of friends for many many years. Now they all support such disgusting behavior in fear that they would get in trouble or that their voice might be heard. How do they think it makes me feel knowing that they either don't give a crap about me now, are acting like they don't because they are scared, or are so incredibly selfish that they never really did???? WELL I HAVE FEELINGS TOO. APPARENTLY YOU DON'T CARE

I feel like the wolf being devoured by it's own pack. Because I left the pack I need to learn a lesson. So they have all banded together and are eating me alive and seem to be enjoying the taste of my blood as they all smile in their twisted victory. Well this wolf has nine lives and she WILL NOT LAY DOWN AND DIE!!!!! So go vegetarian and eat tofu.