Currently

I have really gone back and forth alot whether or not to post on this blog. This was a family blog scrapbook for me. I used it to journal about life, family, and motherhood.Now all of that is being questioned.
I don't realy understand how a family that claims they loved me as one of their own would turn on me. All of the sudden I am looked at as the bad guy.
I have feelings too. I am a good mother. I have devoted my life to my children. Children that have blessed my life and inspire me.
What does a mother really do......


Well let's start at the begining.
WE GAVE BIRTH
we devote the first year of their lives night and day to nursing, nurturing, loving, feeding, changing, making scrapbooks, writing down all of the firsts.We spend our lives worrying and wanting to protect our children. We look out for them with every situation and problem they might have. We loose sleep. We watch them sleep. We comfort. We teach. We want nothing ut the best for our children and we will do what it takes to help guide and direct them in a positive way.

Even when I was sick I always made sure that the children were cared for and had what they needed. Never once did they go without what they needed. Now I feel like I am being put on display for all to see and judge.

What is expected from us mothers. So many things we do go completly unoticed.
I have been reading a book about motherhood and I found a page that I found very interesing. It talks about the expectations of mothers.
- be a good mom
- Prove to husband that I am a good mom
- Go back to work ASAP
- Go back to work after spending a year or two with the kids
- Stay hom and not go back to work
- Raise kids to be as perfect as possible
- Have smart kids
- make sure kids have good manners, obediant, well structed, and prepared for the real world
- Have fresh flowers in the house
- Be the kind of mother my mom was
- Feel lucky for all my options
- Have regular love life with husband
- Be the person I was before kids
- Make gifts for fathers day
- Deal with most, if not all baby duties
- Plan activities, classes, and play dates
- achieve balance
- have well adjusted, socializd kids
- look healthy and fit
- look sexy
- Be happy or look happy
- feel fulfilled
- be admired
- have it all
- spend quality time with kids
- spearhead household chores
- make all doctor and dentist appoinments
- garden
- maintain car
- oversee homework, go to confrences, and keep up on school activities
- buy birthday presents
- organize birthday parties
- write thank you notes
- decorate for holidays
- buy kids clothing and shoes
- pay bills
- throw dinner and holiday parties
- fix household things
- bathe kids
- brush kids teeth
- put kids to bed
- Arrange and manage child care
- pick up kids from school
- manage relationships and gatherings
- take care of pets
- make sure grandparents regularly see kids
- help friends with relaionship problems
- keep the house in order for drop in friends and guests
- help friends out with their kids

Well that is just a few of the things we as mothers feel expected to do.
Then when I have done all of these things and do more than this list all of the sudden I am being evaluated as a parent?

This is completly unfair and absolutly uncalled for. I have been nothing but a good mother. I learn from my own mother and other mothers constanly. I learn from my own father and other fathers. I learn from my own children and other children.

I 100% support my children. I have supported them in all aspects of their lives. I have enjoyed dance recitals, music lessons, soccar games, gymnastics meets and practices. I have peaked through windows at rehersals to catch a glimpse of my children. Watching them grow and progress and develop their talents. I have driven by their schools at lunch time to hopefully see them having fun on the playground at recess. I have honked and waved when they got excited to see my car.
Simple things that only other mothers understand.

I am very hurt and saddened by all of this. I love my children.