I have really gone back and forth alot whether or not to post on this blog. This was a family blog scrapbook for me. I used it to journal about life, family, and motherhood.Now all of that is being questioned.
I don't realy understand how a family that claims they loved me as one of their own would turn on me. All of the sudden I am looked at as the bad guy.
I have feelings too. I am a good mother. I have devoted my life to my children. Children that have blessed my life and inspire me.
What does a mother really do......
Well let's start at the begining.
WE GAVE BIRTH
we devote the first year of their lives night and day to nursing, nurturing, loving, feeding, changing, making scrapbooks, writing down all of the firsts.We spend our lives worrying and wanting to protect our children. We look out for them with every situation and problem they might have. We loose sleep. We watch them sleep. We comfort. We teach. We want nothing ut the best for our children and we will do what it takes to help guide and direct them in a positive way.
Even when I was sick I always made sure that the children were cared for and had what they needed. Never once did they go without what they needed. Now I feel like I am being put on display for all to see and judge.
What is expected from us mothers. So many things we do go completly unoticed.
I have been reading a book about motherhood and I found a page that I found very interesing. It talks about the expectations of mothers.
- be a good mom
- Prove to husband that I am a good mom
- Go back to work ASAP
- Go back to work after spending a year or two with the kids
- Stay hom and not go back to work
- Raise kids to be as perfect as possible
- Have smart kids
- make sure kids have good manners, obediant, well structed, and prepared for the real world
- Have fresh flowers in the house
- Be the kind of mother my mom was
- Feel lucky for all my options
- Have regular love life with husband
- Be the person I was before kids
- Make gifts for fathers day
- Deal with most, if not all baby duties
- Plan activities, classes, and play dates
- achieve balance
- have well adjusted, socializd kids
- look healthy and fit
- look sexy
- Be happy or look happy
- feel fulfilled
- be admired
- have it all
- spend quality time with kids
- spearhead household chores
- make all doctor and dentist appoinments
- garden
- maintain car
- oversee homework, go to confrences, and keep up on school activities
- buy birthday presents
- organize birthday parties
- write thank you notes
- decorate for holidays
- buy kids clothing and shoes
- pay bills
- throw dinner and holiday parties
- fix household things
- bathe kids
- brush kids teeth
- put kids to bed
- Arrange and manage child care
- pick up kids from school
- manage relationships and gatherings
- take care of pets
- make sure grandparents regularly see kids
- help friends with relaionship problems
- keep the house in order for drop in friends and guests
- help friends out with their kids
Well that is just a few of the things we as mothers feel expected to do.
Then when I have done all of these things and do more than this list all of the sudden I am being evaluated as a parent?
This is completly unfair and absolutly uncalled for. I have been nothing but a good mother. I learn from my own mother and other mothers constanly. I learn from my own father and other fathers. I learn from my own children and other children.
I 100% support my children. I have supported them in all aspects of their lives. I have enjoyed dance recitals, music lessons, soccar games, gymnastics meets and practices. I have peaked through windows at rehersals to catch a glimpse of my children. Watching them grow and progress and develop their talents. I have driven by their schools at lunch time to hopefully see them having fun on the playground at recess. I have honked and waved when they got excited to see my car.
Simple things that only other mothers understand.
I am very hurt and saddened by all of this. I love my children.
My Daily Inspiration
Your Own Inner Light to Guide You
There comes a time when you must stand alone.You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own drAllow eams.You must be willing to make sacrifices.You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by.Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way.
Famous Quotes
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. -- Fr. Jerome Cummings
Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends. -- Cindy Lew
Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure. -- Jewish Saying
"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you." -- Elbert Hubbard
"Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure." -- Jewish saying
What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. -- Aristotle
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.Just walk beside me and be my friend.-- Albert Camus
"The only way to have a friend is to be one." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.-- Abraham Lincoln
Hold a true friend with both your hands. -- Nigerian Proverb
"A faithful friend is the medicine of life." -- Apocrypha
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.-- Anonymous
Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends. -- Cindy Lew
Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure. -- Jewish Saying
"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you." -- Elbert Hubbard
"Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure." -- Jewish saying
What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. -- Aristotle
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.Just walk beside me and be my friend.-- Albert Camus
"The only way to have a friend is to be one." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.-- Abraham Lincoln
Hold a true friend with both your hands. -- Nigerian Proverb
"A faithful friend is the medicine of life." -- Apocrypha
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.-- Anonymous
Alyssa Mason and Jocie
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2 comments:
Alyssa.... I don't know what is going on in your life, but reading this post made me sad for you and what you are going through. I can tell you that from the moment I met you and taught Jocie, I knew you were a good mom and wanted nothing but the best for that little girl. I loved getting to see you at parent teacher conferences because you made me laugh and showed me what it was like to be a mom that had a great relationship with her children. I told myself that when I had kids, I wanted to have the type of relationship with my children that Alyssa has with hers. I thought all of these things and I didn't even know you were sick...Now, knowing that you were sick, I think even more highly of you! You are an amazing person, mom, and friend! I hope that if you ever need anything, you would know to call me, even if it's just to get you out for lunch! I hope to hear from you soon....Call me 801-376-9184 or email me lindsey.hughes@nebo.edu
Love,
Lindsey
My dear friend Alyssa,
It is heartbreaking to see you suffering right now. It is so obvious that you love your children more than life. You have put your children first even with your health problems. My daughter Mckennah also loves you like a 2nd mother. When you lived in our neighborhood she always wanted to be at your house! You always had something for her to do! You provided fun crafts or things to paint! She was always invited to make yummy food with you. She loved creating new recipes in your kitchen. You were the best unpaid dance instructor any of the girls in our neighborhood knew!You helped so many of Jocie's friends with dance! You were the house everyone loved to play at! I hope that the truth will be made known and you can be the mother you love being again!
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