Sleep

Since I use the CVR everyday I have noticed several things. Things that might seem normal to someone else are HUGE to me. Imagine for years and years not sleeping for more than an hour at a time, and going for days and days without any sleep at all. My children beg me to put them on the CVR before bed. In fact they ask several times per day. Mason is sleeping completely through the night! I haven't heard any cries or "mom I need help" for several nights.
I slept from 9:30 pm-9:30 am last night. I woke one time in the night, but rehearsed the words that were spoken in the session I had listened to before going to bed. IT WORKED!!! I fell back asleep and awoke refreshed.
When you deal with chronic pain, you also get insomnia, anxiety, and depression. As I am going through this process I feel like I am getting back my life. A life I have never experienced fully before. I haven't felt like this EVER! On the outside most people would never know that I was crumbling inside. I don't feel that way. I can never go without this system. It is now the power tool for my home.

Happy Birthday Jocie

 

Jocie had a fun sleepover 12Th birthday with really fun girls. There was a lot of laughing, giggling, and barely any sleep. I had to remind the girls that three of them had a dance competition the next day. I am glad they had a fun time. Happy Birthday Jocie

Jocie went into young womens

 

As Jocie's mom I got to introduce her into young women's on Sunday. There are three Jocelyn's so fortunately she goes by the name of Jocie most of the time. She was happy and it is exciting to see her growing into a lady.

Amazing Experiance

I know that God puts people in our path at the right time for the right reasons. I had an amazing experience today that for the first time in so many years, I have hope. I have lived with chronic pain for all of my life that I just figured that that was how it would be. I randomly went to a salon and met a man that said that he had a system that could help. I try to remain positive and outgoing. So I thought that I would give it a try. As most of you know, I have been in serious opiate withdrawal for about a month. It has been very challenging, but I continue to read, educate myself, and keep a positive frame of mind. I really feel like I have learned that from my father. To see all of his struggles, he gives me strength.
So I go into the salon and they wrap me in infrared blankets and put earphones and dark glasses on me. The room is calm and soothing. I close my eyes and see small blinking lights in the corners of my eyes. I hear the most beautiful voice and music with inspiring words. I realized that I was crying. I followed all of the directions and felt the most peaceful feeling I have ever felt. I read a lot, and try to always enlighten my spirit with good things. At times I slip but I try to get right back up. This was an experience that I feel hard to explain. All I can say is this.... I felt hope. Our brains are so powerful that we can train them to be our strongest healer. If you have questions about this please email me. As I sit and think about this experience today I tear up. It was beautiful and inspiring.

The new blog updates for Alyssa and Mason

I am creating a blog so that those of you that have wondered what has been going on, and why I might have apeared to be so distant. This blog will explain my personal thoughts as well as give information on the studying that I am doing regarding Ehler Dan-Los syndrome. I am finding strength in a difficult time through many ways. If you are interested in understanding more please click the link at the top of your family blog. There is also a lot of really helpful and interesting information if you search Ehler Danlos Syndrome on youtube. I will continue to update and get back on track with family updated and exciting events. I have so many people ask questions about EDS so I thought that I would create a blog to help people better understand and continue to increase my knowledge on the subject.

Some Catching up to do

I know that it might seem like I have dropped off the face of the planet, but for a while I sort of did. I will take some time soon to catch people up on all of the wonderful family updates.
I also will be starting a personal blog. I feel it is important that people understand why I have been so distant. I will post that link soon.

Attitude is EVERYTHING be HAPPY

Jocie

So Jocie is blooming in her love for dance. She has started Center Stage, and dances everyday for about 4 hours. It is exhausting I am sure. She has got to come up with a plan to help pay for this wonderful experience. She thought she would make a flier and give it to our family. She wants this so bad it is awesome! I see what my parents did now to put me through so many music lessons, camps, teacher, ect. Exhausting. Bless Sterling's heart for being such a good man and doing all of this. I feel like a useless slug half the time. It kind of stinks when you start to feel better ( you think). If anyone needs a cute blonde dancer to pick weeds, babysit, pick up dog poo, LOL! IDK, she'll do it! hey a dollar is a dollar right.

Honestly....

So when you think you have it all together , somehow life throws a curve ball right at your forehead. I don't know...

Hard Adjustment

I am finding this move emotionally harder than I had thought that it would be. I miss my friends. I miss my kids friends. I miss all of the busy crazy activity that always buzzed around our home. I miss Mason, Tallon and Jordan playing games and running through the house. I miss Jocie, Mckennah, Taylor and Morgan making creations in the kitchen and doing their nails in the back yard. I miss Elizabeth randomly stopping by to see how I am and talking to me. I miss the treats from Angie and our fun talks. I miss the neighbor kids stopping by asking if they could have something to eat.

Our first week in our new ward was great, and really hard at the same time. It is so fun having my in-laws around the corner. They are in our ward. The door rang bright and early and it was Claudia with her sweet voice asking if the kids were ready. We sat with them. All three meeting I had to keep taking deep breath to keep from crying. I never realized how attached I was to the people in my old ward. All of the sounds, kids crying, the people you know are going to get up and walk out with their kids, ect. Sterling was right at home. After all he was raised in this ward. But I felt very odd. I always seem to feel odd where ever I go, so maybe that is something I will have to figure out.

So all in all.... I am happy we are in Orem. I do know that we should be here. It is a great situation. I just feel a little out of place and don't quite know where I fit in. It will take me a while.

Even though I am a fairly quiet reserved person, I still miss all of my outgoing friendly neighbors. All of the little things I was so used to everyday, I really do miss.

We Moved

Well it kind of happened a little sooner than we had planned.... But we moved to Orem. I know there are some very good friends and neighbors that feel like we are moving to China, but it is only Orem. I thought we would be moving around the first of August, but we moved the middle of July. The house became available sooner and we thought it would be good for our kids to have a chance to feel settled a little more before starting their new school. The house is just my style. It is older and full of character and charm. It is really big. At least for us. We have been living in 3000 sq ft. with only 1500 finished for 8 years. This house is all finished and is 3900 sq ft. I see a big project but I see a lot of fun. We have plenty of bedrooms and bathrooms and room to grow. It is in the perfect location. Sterling family lives around the corner and my sister Dottie live just a few blocks the other direction. I actually have a laundry room I can work in and a kitchen I can cook in. Now there are no excuses... I have got to cook. The medication that took away my appetite is gone and I finally can taste food again. I feel rather weak, but that is normal. I had just better get my buns back over to the gym and kill this pain and get me some energy and strength! I walked in our Spanish Fork house today and looked around. The only reason I was so attached to it was because of what was in it. Well all of those precious people are in a house in Orem now, and it is going to be home.
I will miss the youth in our ward so much. These kids are great. We feel so blessed that we were able to be a part of their lives for so long. Our friends are great here.

Just remember that we are always friends. Orem or Spanish Fork. That should not matter. We still have cell phones and email addresses. Now we have more room to hang out. So don't forget to call and write and stop bye anytime.