Currently

I have really gone back and forth alot whether or not to post on this blog. This was a family blog scrapbook for me. I used it to journal about life, family, and motherhood.Now all of that is being questioned.
I don't realy understand how a family that claims they loved me as one of their own would turn on me. All of the sudden I am looked at as the bad guy.
I have feelings too. I am a good mother. I have devoted my life to my children. Children that have blessed my life and inspire me.
What does a mother really do......


Well let's start at the begining.
WE GAVE BIRTH
we devote the first year of their lives night and day to nursing, nurturing, loving, feeding, changing, making scrapbooks, writing down all of the firsts.We spend our lives worrying and wanting to protect our children. We look out for them with every situation and problem they might have. We loose sleep. We watch them sleep. We comfort. We teach. We want nothing ut the best for our children and we will do what it takes to help guide and direct them in a positive way.

Even when I was sick I always made sure that the children were cared for and had what they needed. Never once did they go without what they needed. Now I feel like I am being put on display for all to see and judge.

What is expected from us mothers. So many things we do go completly unoticed.
I have been reading a book about motherhood and I found a page that I found very interesing. It talks about the expectations of mothers.
- be a good mom
- Prove to husband that I am a good mom
- Go back to work ASAP
- Go back to work after spending a year or two with the kids
- Stay hom and not go back to work
- Raise kids to be as perfect as possible
- Have smart kids
- make sure kids have good manners, obediant, well structed, and prepared for the real world
- Have fresh flowers in the house
- Be the kind of mother my mom was
- Feel lucky for all my options
- Have regular love life with husband
- Be the person I was before kids
- Make gifts for fathers day
- Deal with most, if not all baby duties
- Plan activities, classes, and play dates
- achieve balance
- have well adjusted, socializd kids
- look healthy and fit
- look sexy
- Be happy or look happy
- feel fulfilled
- be admired
- have it all
- spend quality time with kids
- spearhead household chores
- make all doctor and dentist appoinments
- garden
- maintain car
- oversee homework, go to confrences, and keep up on school activities
- buy birthday presents
- organize birthday parties
- write thank you notes
- decorate for holidays
- buy kids clothing and shoes
- pay bills
- throw dinner and holiday parties
- fix household things
- bathe kids
- brush kids teeth
- put kids to bed
- Arrange and manage child care
- pick up kids from school
- manage relationships and gatherings
- take care of pets
- make sure grandparents regularly see kids
- help friends with relaionship problems
- keep the house in order for drop in friends and guests
- help friends out with their kids

Well that is just a few of the things we as mothers feel expected to do.
Then when I have done all of these things and do more than this list all of the sudden I am being evaluated as a parent?

This is completly unfair and absolutly uncalled for. I have been nothing but a good mother. I learn from my own mother and other mothers constanly. I learn from my own father and other fathers. I learn from my own children and other children.

I 100% support my children. I have supported them in all aspects of their lives. I have enjoyed dance recitals, music lessons, soccar games, gymnastics meets and practices. I have peaked through windows at rehersals to catch a glimpse of my children. Watching them grow and progress and develop their talents. I have driven by their schools at lunch time to hopefully see them having fun on the playground at recess. I have honked and waved when they got excited to see my car.
Simple things that only other mothers understand.

I am very hurt and saddened by all of this. I love my children.

Update

Since the phone and email are constantly going off and people are asking..."What is going on?" I will just say this. The Sipe's Journey is taking a different path. It is not happy and it needs to be fixed. So Please rest assured that everything will be fine in time. So no more worried phone calls and emails.

Poor Snakey

We have had "Snaky" for about two years. I personally took a while to warm up to the idea of having a boa constrictor in our house, but I did. Sterling always had really strange and cool animals around his home growing up. I remember seeing his brother feed one of his own snakes and it broke my heart. But nature is nature! Rats are their for a reason. We usually have feed her frozen rats, but gave her a live rat this time. She had changed environments and apparently snakes can get stressed. She started to act really strange and we called our snake friends. Kara is my emotional snake helper LOL!(thanks Kara). I always tried to help in keeping her cage clean and happy.
Well this rat was EVIL!!!! It attacked her. Poor Snaky :-(
I went in and found that the rat had eaten holes in the snake. She was still alive. Poor thing...
Mason's heart was broken, but Sterling was great at explaining nature to him and that sometimes these things happen. Snaky was just weak and the rat ate her.
How strange that I didn't even realize that I really cared about a snake. Don't get me wrong... she freaked me out a little sometimes, but she still was Mason's pet.
So the rat was evil and Snaky is in Snake heaven now.
Sorry Snaky.
Sorry for the pictures, but Snaky needed a proper snake memorial.
I actually cried about a snake, but Snaky made Mason happy and that made me happy.

 

 

 

 

A Mother's Love

A mother's love! What can compare with it! Of all things on earth, it comes nearest to divine love in heaven.

A mother's love means a life's devotion-and sometimes sacrifice-with but one thought, one hope and one feeling, that her children will grow up healthy and strong, free from evil habits and able to provide for themselves. Her sole wish is that they may do their part like men and women, avoid dangers and pitfalls, and when in dark hours come, trust in Providence to give them strength,patience and courage to bear up bravely.

Happy is the mother that when her heart's wish is answered,and happy are her sons and daughters when they can feel that they have contributed to her noble purpose, and in some measure, repaid her unceasing, unwavering love and devotion.

 

Happy 10th Birthday Mason

Why God Made Mothers

God knew that everybody needs
Someone to show the way,
He knew that babies need someone
To care for them each day...
He knew they needed someone sweet
To soothe their their baby cries,
To teach them how to walk and talk,
And sing them lullabies...
That's why God made mothers

He knew small children need someone
To lend a guiding hand,
To answer all their questions
And to smile and understand,
Someone to read them storybooks,
To teach them wrong from right,
To show them wonderful new games,
And hear their prayers at night...
That's why God made mothers.

You are such a special boy. I am so proud you are my son. Thank you for the privilage of being your mother

Love,
Mom

 

Happy 74th Birthday Dad

Happy Birthday to the greatest dad ever! You are an inspiration to so many. You attitude is amazing. With all of your challenges you keep your head held high and still smile through it. I love you with all my heart and am so proud that you are my daddy.

 

Love people for who they are

If I have learned anything in life it is this.... Never judge another. You never know where that person has been or what they have been through. Be a listening ear when needed and give uplifting advice if asked. Follow your heart. Be a good friend. Allow others to serve you. It might seem hard to let them serve you, but it blesses both of you. Be of service to others. You will be blessed also.

Moms get stuck with all the crap!

So it is over 30 degrees today so I figure I will venture outside and clean up a little bit of winter. OH MY GOSH IT IS A WAR ZONE!!! The yard has melted and I see the aftershock of the quake of winter before me.
Mason and his friend are building a "hut" and Jocie and her friend are writing messages on the side walk with chalk. I figure all is OK... WRONG
2 dogs all winter.. one yard...snow has melted. Yes I am a trooper. I cleaned up bags and bags of that crap. LITERALLY.
Then I tackle the dog hair.
I go in the house to find Mason and his friend washing a gigantic piece of slate rock covered in mud in the bath tub.I had just hung the cleaned curtains that are now covered in mud. The carpet has mud on it, and they are trying to clean it up with disinfectant wipes.
I don't think I have ever asked for snow, but I am tired and I don't want to tackle any more crap! I need some great boy scout to need a project and come help me.

Moms are tough. We changed diapers. For years and years. Nothing phases us.

"But MOM that rock is now my most prized possession I have to keep it in my room"

Who are your heros

Who do you gain strength from and why? I ask myself this question...Several people come to my mind for different reasons.I have been thinking about one a lot lately.
My father

Let me just put it this way. Have you ever known that person in your life that would literally do anything for you. Since my father's heart attack I am very protective of him. My father is that man that every man should aspire to be like. I find myself seeing things in him that are incredible.

I was given a violin when I was 9 years old. I love this instrument. I love the way it looks, the way it feels, but most of all I love that it was given to me. It was passed down to me from my father.

I am very free spirited but also very logical. After my fathers heart attack My violin was broken. I know that my father will not always be here, but that little piece of him will always be with me. I will always have it.

My husband always jokes that he fell in love with my dad before he fell in love with me. I can understand that... I have been in love with him my whole life. What a good man. What an honorable man. What a kind, giving, friendly, special person he is.

To many scares, to close together that I worry about him. I have no idea why I have had this on my mind so much lately, but you know what... this is my journal and I can express myself anyway I want.

Sleep

Since I use the CVR everyday I have noticed several things. Things that might seem normal to someone else are HUGE to me. Imagine for years and years not sleeping for more than an hour at a time, and going for days and days without any sleep at all. My children beg me to put them on the CVR before bed. In fact they ask several times per day. Mason is sleeping completely through the night! I haven't heard any cries or "mom I need help" for several nights.
I slept from 9:30 pm-9:30 am last night. I woke one time in the night, but rehearsed the words that were spoken in the session I had listened to before going to bed. IT WORKED!!! I fell back asleep and awoke refreshed.
When you deal with chronic pain, you also get insomnia, anxiety, and depression. As I am going through this process I feel like I am getting back my life. A life I have never experienced fully before. I haven't felt like this EVER! On the outside most people would never know that I was crumbling inside. I don't feel that way. I can never go without this system. It is now the power tool for my home.